"Men and women want the same things from sex—closeness, pleasure, validation, a sense of adequacy. Sexually, men and women are distressed about the same things—performance anxiety, insufficient information, not feeling attractive enough, difficulties communicating honestly.
And there’s no point in understanding “men” or “women” (like such a thing is possible!), since no one has sex with “men” or “women.” We have sex with George or Maria or even both, but we don’t have sex with some abstract group of 100 million people. For better sex, learn more about the person(s) you’re with, not “men” or “women.”